This is the story of our rainbow baby, a common term for the baby you have after losing a baby. He truly is my sunshine and like a rainbow after a rainfall. The first time I had an idea we might be expecting again was during the week of my younger sister’s wedding, and it was not something I had anticipated. We lost Aiden May 22nd, and my sister’s wedding was August second….I know some people, after losing a child, can have a hard time with even the thought of trying again. I totally understand that, but I believe that God knew we needed Kolter in our lives. So after the excitement of the wedding, I believe it was a week later or so, I told Joel we needed to buy some tests. I know he was very excited, and I was as well but nervous, scared, unsure….all of those feelings too. The test obviously showed YES! we were pregnant. I wanted to wait to tell everyone, and Joel wanted everyone and their brother to know. I guess that is where our personalities differ completely (introvert vs. extrovert). Well word got out, and I don’t even know how many people were praying for us. I know there were many! I was still going to my obgyn as I did with Aiden, but I started to get burnt out on the long waits in the sitting room. I started to wonder about better options than the typical hospital birth. I watched several documentaries on the corruptness of many hospital births. I Google searched midwife in my area, and found it, the place I would deliver my next baby, and I was over half way at this point too! If you do decide to go with a midwife, you will quickly find out you make the rules for the most part. Being a still newish mom I thought, this baby is going to come out soon, right around the 39 week mark. Ha! I was ready, he had to be ready, right?! Wrong, I forgot to mention the midwives I went with did not induce with Pitocin which was not something I wanted anyway. In all honesty, I was fine with Kolter taking his time, I like taking my time (my nickname in school was turtle…). The problem was my family flew in, and had to extend their tickets, whoops! Oh are you still wondering how long we waited? It was 42 weeks to the day, and he actually still had to be asked to come out. My midwife called me on Friday afternoon and we chatted about trying a few options and decided on breaking my water that night. I was just so relieved, because after 42 weeks you are forced to go back to the hospital and induced. That evening we arrived at the birthing center, we all got prepared (let me just say I was completely nervous, adrenalin pumping, etc.), and my midwife told me it would probably take a little time for labor to pick up after breaking my water. Well, it did take a LITTLE time about a half hour or so, and then I was in full labor. I mean I said get me in that tub! My mom was there, as well as my hubby, and the midwife and a midwife in training. What I remember most is just going to a place of concentration and prayer to the Lord to get me and my little one through labor safely. I honestly also had been praying fervently for Him to take as much pain away as possible, I know that can sound silly but I knew he could answer my prayer. I know he did too, because Kolter Joel came out pretty quickly and with all the help around me to this day I think it wasn’t all that bad. The birth was the easy part compared to what came next; the memory is so vivid to me. I lifted him up out of the water onto my chest, and he was the most beautiful creature I had ever seen, literally just gorgeous. Plump cheeks, perfect face, just the right size, but why wasn’t he crying or moving. I looked around, my midwife was right next to me rubbing Kolter’s back, the other midwife was counting, but why is she counting? I don’t remember anything else except Tonya’s steady voice saying he will be alright but I need to take him to the bed. I prayed in my head, Lord you can’t do this to me again, I literally thought we might lose him. In those terrifying moments Tonya had picked Kolter up off of my chest, and as she started to turn towards the bed he coughed and started crying. I am almost in tears as I am writing this. The Lord took care of us all, he steadied my wonderful midwife to know what she needed to do, and she was so capable of caring for my son. I believe that without our midwife being calm and using common sense we may have had other results. Kolter was such an alert little man, and has been the most wonderful blessing to us.


One thought on “Kolter

  1. Oh, you made my cry. I had no idea the little scare kolter gave you. praise the Lord for his goodness! I can totally see Joel telling the world! Lol! I’m super excited to use a midwife this time around!!

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