Aiden Samuel- my little fire

Here we go folks, this is going to be a long journey so bear with me….All my natural and healthy searching started with one very upsetting ultrasound. At twenty something weeks we went to get that very exciting sonogram that would tell us the gender of our tiny baby. We had what we thought was a normal pregnancy up until that point minus my belly looking a little on the smaller side. Normal appointments, normal morning sickness, normal, normal, normal. Right? No, on that day we were told the fluid in utero was low. We were told we would need to see a specialist, and have extra testing done. BUT WHY!? I called the obgyn who was not in the office that fateful day (I had to track her down). I asked for more details, and she slipped up…The fluid was not just low, there was no fluid. Wait what do you mean, low or no fluid? (I had already been looking up everything I possibly could online) The difference between no fluid or low fluid was my baby’s life or being put on bed rest for a while….two more days of testing, one heart rate test, and then a super strong ultrasound with a specialist. These are the snippets of things you remember as if it is all a dream, no a nightmare. After seeing the specialist for the u.s. they did one more small test, to see if I was leaking fluid. I remember being laid on an exam table, Joel looking at me from across the room, worried. I will never forget it, he was trying to be strong for me. That final test told them something, but it required more waiting, waiting that felt like an eternity. Dr so and so came back, sat down and broke the awful news to us that our son had Potter’s Syndrome. There was no fluid to keep him safe in my smallish belly, he had no kidneys, no bladder, problems with his lungs, and finally some back up of fluid around his heart. WHY!? I wanted to scream at that doctor like it was his fault, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing, somebody handed me a box of tissues. I just remember the room being so full of sunshine, on one of the most beautiful days in Washington all I could think was this is not happening, this is a nightmare, I want to go back to sleep, and start over. And through it, the Lord gave me strength to get back to the car with my husband by my side, make calls to family, and get back home. We had ultrasounds every week, you can ask me later why I think that was unnecessary, although it was nice to see him. I carried Aiden (his name means little fire) for about eight more weeks, oh how thinking his name makes me ache. His birth was conventional minus me taking anything or getting an epidural (more details on that later). But nonetheless beautiful, and though we were told not to expect him to be born alive, HE WAS! We were told we may not hear his voice, but WE DID! He was complete and perfect on the outside, and stayed with us for two unimaginable hours. Looking back on it now, I don’t believe changing my diet or health could have changed our circumstances, but it is what drove us to choose midwives for our next births (we have two more sons, Amen!). Our experience is what brought me to look at how my health can help with growing babies, and staying strong physically and spiritually while growing our family. Aiden put a fire in my heart for helping others with doing right by the body you have been blessed with. If you find yourself in a similar situation I would personally love to hear about it, so comment or send me a message.